I had some free time today and spent it scrolling social media. A few hours later, I felt horrible and sat on my back thinking about how much of a waste of time it was. Then I started repeating that over and over “waste of time” “waste of time” “waste of time” “waist of time”…. Wait that’s interesting
That can become a funny play on words. I let my brain run with this and quickly came up with a business scheme. It would be hilarious to sell a limited edition belt where the buckle was a watch face and called ‘the waist of time’.
I can see raunchy ads with:
- Man says ‘you know what you are?’
- Points to crotch
- A waste of time
- Come buy a waist of time today!
These limited edition belts will be a one-time fad of exclusive, luxury belts that people will remember. Wouldn’t that be great!?!
Meta
It turns out, the most entertaining and enjoyable part of my doomscrolling experience was making a silly little joke to myself and letting my brain run with it. Now as I sit here, typing cathartically and eating a full container of Planters Peanuts, I’m wondering what other seemingly meaningless tasks can drive pure joy. I plan to go workout to reduce the headache the peanuts cause while staying conscious of my thoughts in hope of another spur-of-the-moment funny to share.
I’ve moved onto wondering why I make these at all. I have decided that they are for me to revisit one day. They seem to hold some kind of value to me that I don’t want to lose. So this has become my archive. Down the road, I can return to this craziness, laugh at my idiocy, then stop and think “it actually isn’t that bad of an idea”
Want other weird ideas I’ve had? Check here!