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The concept of ‘Yes if’ and ‘never say no’
“Never say no” and “Yes if” were things I was taught by one of the wealthiest women in the world. At the time, I may have even scoffed when I heard this as I sat in the crowd. I mean… seriously! How absurd is that? Never say no? That sounds like a trap. She followed up that phrase with a brief example that helped contextualize the statement.
“If you are a financial advisor and someone with $100 in their bank account asks if they can retire tomorrow, the answer is not no. The answer should be yes… if you die tomorrow“
This made it click for me. “No” seems to be a sign of lack of effort and a way of giving up. We should always strive to show what it would take to give someone what they are asking for. “No because” is much less meaningful than “yes if”. It shows that you are willing to work with them, but also points to what it would take to meet their request.
Quick implementation of ‘never say no’
I may have tuned out the next few parts of her presentation due to my brain opting to digest and brainstorm the ‘yes if’ phrase. I began to think about if what I had just heard was reasonable and how I could use it. What were things asked of me that I could now respond differently to? In that headspace I came up with: wait… what if I ask something of her and see if she responds as she had requested the audience to. The first thing that came to mind was “Will you pay off my student loans?” – then the wheels really started turning.
Developing a plan
Using what I had just learned, I’d essentially been given one wish from a very wealthy woman. If I made it too extreme, it wouldn’t be taken seriously and I’d lose my opportunity. Asking about paying off my student loans was extreme but not impossible. I needed to add some more ammo before my attempt though. Why would paying off my student loans help her? I continued to brainstorm and by the end of the presentation I felt ready.
Action Time
At the conclusion of the presentation, she began to rush out to beat the crowd and make her next meeting. I ended up chasing her down, being pushed aside by her aide, then ultimately being allowed to accompany her on the walk to her car. Then I popped the question. Her response to my ask to have my student loans covered was expected “No, I can’t do that” – I got her.
“What happened to yes if?”
She stopped for a second, smiled, and laughed “that’s clever!” then she continued onward… Time to implement the backup ammo I had prepared.
“Think about it! I know your company struggles with retention. Covering student loans would be a fantastic benefit to draw more folks in AND keep them if configured appropriately”
We walked in silence for a bit and she said the magic words “Okay. Email me, I’ll think on it and we can discuss when I am back” – Wait did that really work? Maybe, or maybe that was her way of brushing me off. All I could do was hold up my end of the bargain. I emailed her shortly after and to my surprise, got a quick response: “Yes if you figure out how to do this reasonably for my entire company so you are not being treated differently than anyone else. The benefits team is CC’d please work with them”
Over the next few months we developed a plan and ultimately implemented it through the entire company. A spontaneous action in response to an interesting phrase from an openminded individual led to an amazing outcome.
Lessons Learned
Yes if and never say no are powerful
Following this interaction, I was on a mission to remove the word ‘no’ from my vocabulary. It worked way better than I had expected. I believe it added a level of humor and understanding while showing effort that led to consistently constructive outcomes. This was was a fantastic tool to add to my belt and believe others should do the same.
Accountability is paramount
It would have been incredibly easy for this woman to have brushed me off and ignored my request that would lead to additional work for her. Instead, she held herself accountable to what she had preached. In turn, I had developed deep respect for her as an individual and she had obtained a new retention program for her company. While I was never able to follow up on the efficacy of the program, the meaning of that one small phrase and the importance of accountability have stuck with me and given me something to strive for an implement in my life.
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